Building Rapport The NLP Way

The term rapport is mainly used in the context of NLP or in unconscious human interaction. In technical terms, it is process of being synchronized with a person to whom you are talking. It is considered to be one of the most important features of unconscious human interaction.

Rapport is no doubt, one of the ultimate tools in improving relationships of any nature,  Using advanced rapport techniques, you can resolve almost any conflict and you can improve relationships between families, boss and employee etc.

Rapport Techniques:
There are various NLP techniques that can be used in building rapport, which is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Some of the most popular NLP techniques for building rapport are Matching, Mirroring, Pacing and Leading. These techniques will be discussed in more detail later.

The main principle behind every technique is for one person to establish rapport with another so that they will empathise with one another. When each person feels in the same way as the other person they are much more likely to reach agreement or to be influenced. The more you can get into synchronized state with another person the more likely you can persuade and influence them.

Rapport, as mentioned above, is considered to be foundation of any healthy relationship. Using rapport techniques helps you in discussing serious issues without any agression. Using rapport makes it easy to discuss criticial issues more easily and it also helps in finding effective and practical solutions. Rapport usually happens at many levels. You should learn how to build rapport.

You can easily build rapport at any time through:

  • The rapport skills that you have acquired.
  • The way you sound
  • The way you look and behave
  • Your set of beliefs.
  • Your values of life.
  • The places where you spend time with people.

Matching and Mirroring:
Matching and mirroring is one of the most useful NLP techniques to build rapport. You might have noticed the rapport between people in bars and resturants when they dance or they talk while sitting on the table. You can often observe the synchronization in their body movements and the way they talk.

If two people are totally out of synchronizations as they are while having intense arguments, you can often see how much they mismatch. Matching and mirroring are the ways in which a person tunes himself or herself according to someone else. The person who tries to synchronize has to watch the world with the other person’s eyes. When you have a rapport with someone, mirroring can happen naturally.

For effective rapport you should aim to match:

  • Body Postures and gestures
  • Breating rates
  • Energy level
  • Your voice tone

Pacing and Leading:
It is sometimes essential that you pace others in order to build healthy relationships. It is as though you run alongside a train. If you want to jump on to a moving train, it is very likely that you’ll fall. You can only do it if you gain the speed of the train. Similarly, to influence someone with your views, you should begin by pacing them to establish rapport.

Once you have established rapport through pacing, you can begin to lead them; hence it is called as Pacing and Leading. In the process of pacing and leading someone, you must be sure that you are in rapport before you move into leading them. If you have not established rapport through mirroring, matching and pacing you will not be able to lead them. In fact trying to lead someone too early is likely to break rapport with them. Be patient!

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